Polo necks, turtlenecks, and everything in-between

I had an interesting conversation at work the other day regarding the terminology for certain items of winter clothing - specifically those tops that have extended necks. In the US, we would call them "turtlenecks." If the neck was only 2" high, though, we would term it a "mock turtleneck." I was told that here, however, a turtleneck is a "polo neck," and a mock turtleneck is simply a turtleneck (because it looks like a little turtle sticking his neck out). I went along with this theory, and then a few days later came back with this question - if a polo neck is a turtleneck, what do you call a polo shirt?! The answer is a tennis shirt - but only posh tossers wear them, so no one ever talks about them.

Cockney Rhyming Slang

I have no explanation for this shit. I don't understand it, it's crazy, and Brits just accept it and use it as if it's normal to rhyme words with other words that have no related meaning and use that new word to stand for what they wanted to say. GOT THAT? The apparent origins of Cockney slang were shysters trying to confuse police in the pub, and talk about their scams in code, but their wordplay has entered British lexicon and it's completely incomprehensible to foreigners.

Try to understand it, if you can, by reading this.

You okay?

For a while now, I've been wanting to share some ridiculous British slang and phrasing. So here's one that I encounter every day and it never ceases to cause me discomfort. In the US, if someone asks another person if s/he is "okay" - as in, Are you OK? - the connotation is one of concern because you probably look NOT OKAY. Like, worried, like you might puke, uncomfortable, hungover, maybe your mascara is smudged because you just woke up from a nap at your desk at work or you have a piece of toilet paper hanging out from your skirt (none of these things have happened to me, PS, I'm just being creative). But here in London, if someone says "You OK?" to me, THEY ARE JUST SAYING HI. It's the British equivalent to "What's up". And because that is its meaning, the acceptable responses are "OK, you?", "I'm OK, you OK?", or as Mark put it to me when I queried him on this topic - "A simple nod of the head will suffice". I'm still trying to get the hang of, as I'm rushing into work (late) in the morning, responding to "You OK?" with "You OK?" instead of a huffing explanation for oversleeping.

BUBBLE AND SQUEAK

I ate the best food last weekend. It was at a restaurant named Canteen, in Spitalfields Market, and it serves all day breakfast - the closest thing this American can get to brunch. I ordered a fried egg and bacon over bubble and squeak.

What is bubble and squeak, you ask?

According to my buddy Mark, bubble and squeak is the leftovers of the trimmings from Sunday Roast. So the roasties (potatoes) and leeks you have left over are sauteed up together in sort of a pancake. This is served the next morning with eggs and bacon. And its brilliant.

"Cheers" = the English "Prego!"

In Italy, the only word you really need to learn in order to get around is "Prego!" It means, simultaneously, thank you, you're welcome, goodbye, no problem, excuse me, and see ya! It's sort of like "yo." In England, the word for all of that is "Cheers!" "Cheers" is often a conversation closer; for instance, when you buy something at the store, the cashier will hand you the change and say Cheers, often in addition to Thank you. If a person knows you, they might often use your name as well, as in "Cheers Danielle." It's slightly disconcerting at first, but one gets used to all the cheeriness.

And, of course, "Cheers" happens at the pub, too, when everyone gets a new drink.

Wifebeater

In all countries around the world besides the UK, Stella Artois is considered a premium beer. In New York, for sure, I wouldn't be surprised to see it on a menu or bar list for $8. However, in England, Stella is known as "wifebeater" because it is what those who wear wifebeaters drink, and it also has a tendency to make those people more aggressive. The local credence is that one drinks Stella, and then goes home and beats his wife. Therefore nice people don't drink Stella, and I was soundly chastised for ordering it at the pub last night then persuaded to try Kroenenburg 1664. Apparently, I'm too good for Stella! Imagine that.