Thursday, May 15, 2008

A post for Poppi

Only one post today kids, because it doesn't seem right to be blogging all day today.

Today is the one-year anniversary of my grandfather's death. It is also the first day of truly "London" weather - rainy, overcast, dreary. Someone in New York told me that when it rains in London it's like the sky is sitting inches from your head, pressing down on you; to me, it's sort of like a net keeping all of my thoughts down close to me rather than letting them float off into the world. I feel more introspective, more vulnerable, weaker, today.

I spent my lunch hour at church. The closest Catholic church I could find to work is an Italian church, Chiesa di San Pietro. Mass was said in Italian, and I found comfort in the fact that, even though I didn't understand most of what was said, I knew exactly what was going on. To me, being raised Catholic means constantly questioning the religion's doctrines, trying to understand their place and importance beyond antiquated cultural ritual. But every time I step into a church, those same rituals quickly lull me into a peaceful calm. Even though I don't go that often, Poppi once to ld me to "Try it someday, you might like it" and in some ways, he was right.

I can't believe that it has been a year; some things are exactly the same, others are wildly different. Usually I think of Poppi most when I least expect it; some little saying or sight or even smell will trigger a memory and I smile. The shore is very special for me; Poppi loved the water and being near it always reminds me of him.

Being in London is hard today, for various reasons. I keep coming back to the hope that he is proud of me for doing this, and understands why I'm here. I also hope he knows how much I value what he sacrificed to enable me to be here.

In the spirit of Poppi, I want you all to try to do this this coming summer. If you do, let me know and I'll link it to the blog. Until then, hug your grandparents if you have them and respect where you came from.

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